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Name: Dr. Elizabeth Shorin
Profession: Clinical Psychologist
License Number: New York License # 014733-1
Location: Manhattan, New York City
Education
1999 - Ph.D., Clinical Psychology, Adelphi University,
Derner Institute of Advanced Psychological Studies
1990 - M.A., Clinical Psychology, Adelphi University,
Derner Institute of Advanced Psychological Studies
1988 - B.A. Psychology, Emory University
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Professional experience
2001-now - Private Practice, Individual and Couples Psychotherapy.
2001-2003 - Clinical Director of Ambulatory, Medically Supervised, and Chemical Dependency Services, Long Beach Reach, Inc.
1995-2001 Clinical Coordinator of Outpatient Ambulatory and Medically Supervised Substance Abuse Services, Long Beach Reach, Inc.
1992-1995 - Coordinator of Intensive Outpatient Substance Abuse Treatment, Long Beach Reach, Inc.
1991-1992 - Clinical Psychology Intern, Bronx Psychiatric Center.
1988-1992 - Clinical Psychology Extern, Baldwin Community House.
1990 - Psychological Evaluator, Wantagh Public Schools.
1989 - Clinical Psychology Extern, Long Island Jewish Hillside Hospital.
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Clinical interests
I am interesting in helping people to better understand themselves and to be more fulfilled in the major life areas of love, work, and play. Many of the people I work with seek treatment to deal with relationship issues, anxiety, depression, work-related problems, substance abuse, and problems with self-image and self-esteem. It is important for people to understand their current difficulties in the context of their formative experiences and ways of being in the world. Our experiences shape how we see ourselves and, in turn, our world- and self-view impacts how we relate to others.
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Practice information
I work privately with adults in individual and couples therapy, and adolescents in individual psychotherapy.
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Personal relationship status
I am married three years. I have a 1 ½ year old son and a 20 year old stepson.
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Love-Life biography
I met my husband seven years ago. Many of my friends had become partnered, married, or had moved to another state. I was worried about feeling lonely and decided that I needed to expand my social network and develop other outlets. I started a book club, took a movie class, went to the gym, and decided to join a share house for the summer. Although I was not looking to become involved in a romantic relationship at the time, I was psychologically and emotionally more open to the possibility of a real love relationship than I had been for several years.
In my twenties, I had had a number of moderately serious relationships. Looking back, I see that I tended to fall in love with men who were idealized in my mind, yet somehow not fully available. Although their unavailability was painful, it allowed me to love them from afar and to maintain elements of fantasy and idealization. The idealization allowed me to feel good about myself (if they were so terrific and loved me then I must be lovable) but ultimately left me feeling disappointed and rejected. I felt anxious when I dated anyone who came on “too strong.” I realized that the best way to discover your own fear of intimacy is to find someone who is less fearful of intimacy than you are. I had to deal with my anxiety about being able to love and be loved in a real relationship. For me, this process involved dealing with my feelings in the here-and-now, as well as working through issues from my childhood, family of origin, and other love-life experiences. I learned from my experience and came closer to what I was looking for with each relationship.
My husband and I met and started dating when I was thirty. Although we both felt that each other was “the one,” it took us several years of dating before we were ready to commit to marriage. While I was aware of the ticking of my biological clock, I was not in a rush to be married. I felt as if dating was like musical chairs; I wasn’t ready to sit down but wanted to know that there would be a chair waiting for me when the music stopped. For me to be able to commit to marriage, I again needed to look inward to understand the roots of my anxiety. My husband had his own ghosts from his past to wrestle with, including a failed marriage, and he needed to feel sure that he was not going to make the same mistakes. We were ultimately able to work through these issues together because we had formed a solid foundation built on honesty, trust, friendship, and love.
Although it would be tempting to end this story with us riding “happily ever after” off into the sunset, it is important to acknowledge that finding and committing to the right person is only the beginning. Living together, being married, and having a child together have all had its unique challenges. How couples express love, communicate, and deal with conflict is essential in maintaining and continually rediscovering the love that brought you together in the first place.
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