 |
Name: Dr. Theresa DeSantis
Profession: Clinical Psychologist
License Number: New York State License #016388-1
Location: Farmingdale, Suffolk County, N.Y.
Education
2004 - Ph.D., Clinical Psychology, Adelphi University
|
|
Professional experience
2006 – ongoing Private Practice; individuals, couples and families
2001 – ongoing Adelphi University, Adjunct and Visiting Professor
2004 – 2006 N.Y. Forensic, individuals, couples and family
2004 – 2005 Baldwin Counsel Against Drug Abuse, individual and couples
|
|
|
|
Clinical interests
My clinical interests include the treatment of sexual issues, promotion of healthy emotional and physical intimacy within relationships, interpersonal difficulties, divorce and separation.
|
|
Love-Life interests and expertise
My interest in Love-Life is to be able provide an educational setting for those who want to understand personal obstacles and obtain information that will be helpful toward developing healthy and meaningful relationships. I offer expertise in sexual issues, development of healthy interdependent relations and intimacy, abusive relationships, infidelity, divorce, and addictions.
|
|
Practice information
In my private practice I treat individual and couples who suffer from sexual issues and interpersonal difficulties. Other private patients include those with issues of depression, anxiety and addictions.
|
|
Personal relationship status
My current husband and I have been married 19 years and we have four children that range from ages 17-24.
|
|
Love-Life biography
I first married at the very young age of 19, to a wealthy 28-year-old man. Wanting to believe I found the all around guy, I became completely captivated by his charm, kindness, and what appeared to be “love.” A little over one year into the marriage and while pregnant with my first child, the man I fell in love with became physically abusive. He was a functional alcoholic that had been emotionally abusive since day one, but my youth and naiveté did not permit me to recognize this. After the birth of my second child, I decided to return to college which made his need for control and the abuse much worse. With the assistance of a good therapist I was able to recognize that my husband had stripped me of any self-esteem or sense of self-worth and I was nothing but a shell. Somehow I found the strength to file for divorce but that was not the end all of the problems because 20 years ago abused partners did not have the resources or legal protection that is available today. I ended up experiencing every imaginable legal and visitation issue that was possible, while also finding out that the man I had been married to for five years was also using cocaine and was consistently unfaithful. Through continuing to work hard in therapy I was able to rebuild my concept of self and see myself as a “survivor” and not a “victim.” Today, I teach college level courses on domestic violence.
During my divorce I dated but realized I was having a lot of difficulty in the area of trust. One of my closest and trusted male friends from high school was very supportive during this time. We began spending more and more time together and our friendship grew to extremely deep levels. Eventually we both recognized that we were falling in love with one another and now we have been married for many years. We have had two children together and he adopted my older two children. Just because we have been married for this long does not mean that the marriage was happy every day. Marriage is a seven day a week – 24 hour job. We have been through a tremendous amount together, from financial struggles to getting so involved in day to day routines, and my current college education, that it led us to grow apart. The difference is during those times we wanted to find our way back to each other and worked very hard to do so. Through this marriage I have learned a tremendous amount about the need and healthiness of an interdependent relationship rather than a dependent, controlling, or even abusive one. Another key lesson was that intimacy can only be established through trust, and it is nowhere confined to the bedroom because it plays a role throughout all interactions with each other.
|
|