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Name: Dr. Julie Satz
Profession: Clinical Psychologist
License Number: NYS Lic. # 012933
Location: New York City
Education
Psy.D. Clinical Psychology, Yeshiva University, 1995.
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Professional experience
1997-Present Private Practice. Adults, College Students, Couples. DBT Specialization.
2000-2003 Assistant Chief Psychologist. St. Luke’s/Roosevelt Hospital Center.
1998-2000 Supervising Psychologist. Jewish Child Care Association.
1995-1998 Senior Psychologist. Queens Hospital Center.
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Clinical interests
While trained in more traditional “past-focused” methods of therapy, I currently integrate this foundation with specialized training in Dialectical Behavior Therapy to create a hands-on approach to psychotherapy sessions. I am interested in helping people to identify and make specific changes in their lives—such as with problems of depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and avoidant or addictive behaviors. I believe that after closely examining and explicating a problematic pattern, people can practice and learn new modes of relating to others; simultaneously, understanding the origins of such behaviors and choices is useful and can be validating to someone stuck repeating a maladaptive pattern.
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Love-Life interests and expertise
Since starting my private practice in 1997, I have encountered both men and women who seek therapy for help managing and improving their relationships, especially with regard to their dating and romantic prospects. As stated above, I believe people can grow and change with improved self-awareness, practicing new behavior, and supportive coaching on the sidelines. Clinically I am interested in helping both men and women improve their sense of value, to increase self-acceptance and ultimately to overcome roadblocks to intimacy. I also seek to help both individuals and couples sort out imbalances within their existing partnerships.
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Practice information
Individual and Couples Therapy with adults and college students. Specialization in Dialectical Behavior Therapy.
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Personal relationship status
I have been married for three years and have a one-year-old son.
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Love-Life biography
In my twenties I emerged from two long-term relationships with a feeling of failure and indignation. How could I move ahead toward marriage in relationships fraught with intense conflict and that fell very short of my idyllic expectations of intimacy? In their aftermaths, I set my sights to find that perfect “soul-mate”. Because I continued to have difficulty accepting myself, as well as being alone, I often sought out prospects that I idealized, and who by association made me feel more of the qualities that I was insecure about and worried that I lacked. The more creative, intellectual, ambitious or glamorous the person was, the better. Internet dating felt especially competitive in that the flashier the profile, the greater likelihood of sparking someone’s interest, so I constantly ‘perfected’ mine. While I was able to generate many dates, meeting these fantasy people led to either intense, short-lived connections, or longer-term attempts with men who may have possessed some exotic quality or impressive career but were clearly unable or uninterested in forging an intimate relationship with me. The end result though, was that I repeatedly felt that I didn’t measure up, was deficient, or too dependent for wanting something more. The culturally endorsed notion of the “needy female” just exacerbated my fears: that I was too damaged by watching my parents’ dysfunctional marriage to forge a healthy relationship.
Fortunately, over time this pattern began to change. When a relationship ended or didn’t start I began to consider the other person’s liabilities, rather than solely assuming rejection or blame. I applauded my perseverance at the dating game, and started to resist extreme discouragement and disappointment if something didn’t work out after a meeting or two. This also improved by dating regularly, and by adjusting my expectations before I really knew a person. I also worked on being alone—both tolerating it and enjoying it—by pursuing new interests, keeping fit, and seeing friends often. Conducting my life in this way led to increased self-respect; I came to value myself as I was, without any bells and whistles, but with many positive qualities and love to give. Simultaneously I became more skillful at screening out people who would likely lead to more disappointment, regardless of their initial appeal. Furthermore, I became very focused on looking for a mate who would likely be looking for me, not just someone who sounded good in a profile. This process of self-validation and looking out for my best interests continued to yield improved self-worth, and thus in turn improved the whole process.
After seven years of single-hood I met my (then) future husband—someone also experienced in the disappointments of dating, but ready and willing to forge a real relationship. I have learned that conflict is not a reason to go to battle or to end a relationship, but an inevitable part of merging two individuals that can be navigated constructively. My experience of intimacy is not the idyllic one that I once yearned for, but it is real, lasting, and ultimately more satisfying: marriage and family built on hard work, mutual respect, shared values and needs for love.
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