 |
Name: Dr. Elizabeth Margoshes
Profession: Clinical Psychologist/Certified Group Psychotherapist
License Number: New York State License #007806
Location: Manhattan, New York City
Education
1996 Certification in Group Therapy, Postgraduate Center for Mental
Health
1982 Ph.D., Clinical Psychology, New School University
1971 B.A., Music, Vassar College
|
|
Professional experience
1982-Present Private Practice of Psychotherapy
1995-6 Group Therapist, Postgraduate Center for Mental Health
1989-5 Research Psychologist, HIV and mental health, New York State
Psychiatric Insitute
1984-7 Consulting Psychologist, Daytop Village
1982-4 Staff Psychologist, Brookdale Hospital Department of Psychiatry
|
|
Published work
"Ask Dr. Lovelady" advice column, WORD.com, 1996-8
McKinnon, K.; Cournos, F.; Meyer-Bahlburg, H.F.L.; Guido, J.R.;Caraballo,
L.R.; Margoshes, E.S.; Herman, R.; Gruen, R.S.;and Exner, T.M. Reliability
of sexual risk behavior interviews with psychiatric patients. American
Journal of Psychiatry 150:972-974, 1993
|
|
Clinical interests
My current clinical interests include how families of origin influence the
development of love relationships in adults, the creative process,
including helping people overcome creative "blocks", anxiety disorders and
how they relate to separation/individuation issues, and the relationships
between Western psychology and Buddhist thought.
|
|
Love-Life interests and expertise
In my clinical practice I work with many individuals who would like to
form a new relationship or improve the relationship they are in. I see my
role as therapist as one where I help my clients learn more about the
conscious and unconscious factors that may be interfering with their
ability to have the love-lives that they seek. With my support, my clients
work through their conflicts until they find that their love-lives are in
a better, much more satisfying place.
When I first went online in 1990, I was amazed at the possibilities for
communication about psychological issues, including love relationships,
via the miraculous medium of computers. I began to post actively on mental
health groups concerned with relationships. In 1991 I became the host
of both the Love and Psychology Conferences on ECHO (echonyc.com), a New
York City-based electronic message board. In 1995 I became one of the
first faculty members of "The Connected Computer" course given to mental
health professionals by the Summer Institute of the Albert Einstein
College of Medicine, teaching other therapists how to go online and access
materials that would help their clients. In 1996 I was hired by the
pioneering webzine word.com to write a weekly love advice column, which I
called "Ask Dr. Lovelady." Using a lot of sometimes irreverent humor, I
answered many thorny questions readers asked about their love and sex
lives.
I view the Love-Life Workshops as the next big step in helping people
improve their love lives, and am excited about being a part of this new
approach.
|
|
Practice information
I conduct psychotherapy with adults, adolescents, and couples.
|
|
Personal relationship status
I have been married for 15 years and have a
14-year-old son.
|
|
Love-Life biography
One of the major reasons I am excited about conducting Love-Life Workshops
is because I went through a long love-life journey myself. I did
not meet my husband until the eve of my 41st birthday, and,
throughout my many years of seeking a partner it sometimes seemed as if
I would live out my days as a terminal dater.
When in dating mode I tended to see myself as either too good or not
good enough for a potential partner. I was constantly judging others on
superficial characteristics, and finding either them or myself wanting. I
was very anxious on dates, and would spend hours waiting by the phone to
see if I had passed the test.
When I was in a relationship, I managed ultimately to sabotage the
intimacy by being overly critical of my partner, alternating with thinking
if I expressed myself I''d be abandoned. This left me, whether in or out of
a relationship, feeling scared -- wanting closeness but fearing it. And
ultimately my relationships ended without my really understanding why.
It was only through finding a therapist who could help me wrestle with my
personal issues that I finally became conscious of what I was contributing
to my romantic frustrations. I began to learn that I was overly close to
my parents; that they had kept me, unconsciously, in a sort of contract
where we all had to pledge to stay together forever, taking care of each
other. Outsiders were to be feared. However, in this contract, I was
necessarily the loser. The contract kept me a child forever. Whereas I
wanted to grow up and have a family of my own!
During the process of therapy I worked hard, and mourned my fantasy of an
unconditional, enduring love -- the kind of love that might be desirable
between a mother and a child, but that is not what a mature relationship
between two adults is about. I also came to understand that my
hyper-criticalness both about myself and others was a defense to enable me
to keep men away -- so as not to betray the contract. Becoming conscious
of what I was doing to sabotage my love-life ultimately resulted in my
becoming more open to loving a stranger and in feeling that I was, in
fact, a lovable person. When my future husband appeared (online!, I was
able to appreciate him as a separate, unique person, rather than yet
another all-powerful yet ultimately disappointing parent-figure into which
I had turned my former partners. In my new, more conscious, state, I was
able to love and be loved as an adult.
I see the Love-Life Workshops as a wonderful opportunity for me to pass on
some of the experiences that have helped me so much in my own quest for
love.
|
|